that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
