I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
