I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
