I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
