The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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