he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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