i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
