Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
