ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
