hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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