But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
