dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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