my vag is so smooth its legendary
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
