So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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