so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
