And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
