We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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