I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
