Who wears a wallet chain?!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
