just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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