Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
