grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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