Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
