does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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