even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
