I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
