That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
where are my eyebrows?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
