Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
