the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
