You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
