So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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