please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
