nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
