dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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