well you can't waste a boner
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they're like a gay fantastic four
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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