Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
