yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize