In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
