I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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