Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
