belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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