Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
