perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
