i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
