Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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