i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
