she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
