I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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