I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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