he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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