If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
