Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Randomize
