We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
