so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
