Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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