everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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