I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
