maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
