thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
